Competing Dream

Competing Dream
Competing Dream

Hope & Dreams: A critical ingredient in the lives of caregivers and their loved ones

It's human nature to hang onto two main hope - the hope of overcoming illness and the hope of delaying death. However, in many cases the reality is that your loved one faces a steady medical decline, a life-threatening illness or impending death.

Hope is like a vase that contains your fragrant colorful dreams. Dreams, like flowers, change the time of life and the stages of caregiving. However, no matter how desperate the situation, there is always room for hope and dreams. This is the magic salve for the suffering of carers and their loved ones.

Hope is the optimistic belief that you can expect a better tomorrow.

Sometimes better tomorrow happens as a result of something that changes with the outside world - like a new drug or unexpected help. Sometimes better came open because you see things from a new perspective. Hopes and dreams become the guiding light for the poor choices that you and your loved ones face.

Here are 7 tips for hanging in hope:

1. Give a voice to your secret longings, wishes and dreams.

If you are a magic wand, what would you wish for? Maybe it's turning back the Sands of time and taking away the car keys from your father instead sitting on his hospital bedside where he is recovering from car accident he caused. Maybe it's imagining that you'll open the news and learn a new miracle cure for cancer taking over the body of your mother or for the dementia that erasing your grandmother's memory. Hope can be something simple like a good sleep evening for you and your loved one. Say it out loud, "we can use sleep a good night."

2. Set the truth.

In the course of taking care of tens of thousands of patients, I've seen miracles happen. However, most people experience likely events. Grab an understanding of your current reality based on what is most likely to occur naturally.

Once you identify the most likely outcome, it helps to decide where you put your hope. For example, a friend of mine who is a family doctor told me of a conversation between him and a loving mother whose 6-year-old child was a relapse of leukemia after a bone marrow transplant. With an experimental treatment offered halfway across the country. The mother wanted to know where to take her son to a new hospital across the country for many "pokeys" as her son called them, Disneyland or enjoy the last days of his life. Does she hope for a cure, or for the fullest life remaining days of her child?

3. Identify Your loved ones hope this one can be different than your own.

The mother of 6-year-old made the medical options for his son. What if people with leukemia is your father, who has the ability to make her own medical choices? Maybe you do not bring thought of losing him and hope that a new treatment will cure him. Maybe your dad user's perspective. However, what if he considers experimental treatment with certain anxiety and an uncertain benefit and he decides instead to live his days enjoying his grandchildren?

You can find it difficult to support him. Do not want to bring your loved onea your disappointment that he was hopeful misplace than you would if you were in his shoes. That's when you turn to a trusted friend and say, "I wish Daddy would make a different choice. I want him to fight. I sad and angry that he chose death. "

4. Respect your loved hope.

As a caregiver, it is important that understand that your loved one is the patient. It is her body and life. As much as you think you know what the best choice is, your job is to help your loved ones realize their hopes.

5. Mourn the loss of the old dream.

Gretta said, "mom has always hoped to live all his days in his home filled with the memories of father and young children and happy holidays ... and not so happy holidays. It just not safe any more. We moved him into a terrific retirement community that has everything he wants, including a beautiful garden. Still, she is sad because it's not always what she had imagined. "

You too can have a dream of a healthy and independent loved one is harder to let go. The loss of a dream can be as painful as losing a loved one. Mourning the loss of a dream brings healing.

6. Create a new dream.

You can still have hopes and dreams! They are just different. Maybe the hope for relief is replaced by hope for the day or hour or moment free from pain. Maybe it's the dream that your fragmented family will come together and heal old wounds around the deathbed.

State of your dreams as attaining something you want rather than avoiding something you do not like. As medical conditions change, it is important that you and your loved one revisit the dream. If you are disappointed about the course of events, ask, "Is the loss of a dream or a hope I can do? "

7. Focus on your loved one.

Always remember, caregiving is first and foremost about supporting the person you love. Yes, you as a caregiver with hope and dreams. Maybe the heart of caregiving is the willingness to fulfill the hopes and dreams - the vase filled with brilliant blooms - Of those for whom you care about - whether or not you hold the same vision.

Follow these tips and you're sure to hold on to your hopes and dreams. Remember, no matter how serious the situation, there is still hope for dreams. The dream will change as the condition of your loved one change. There's always like a flower put in a vase, there's always hope.

About the Author

Dr. Vicki is a board-certified surgeon who left the operating room to help families take the most direct path from illness to optimal health. Her book, "The Personal Health Journal", will help you understand and direct your loved ones health story. Empower yourself with the tips and tools that will help you partner with their doctor more effectively & save your loved ones life at: http://www.drvicki.org/drvicki-store-health-journal.html

[FANCAM] 100210 Super Junior Eunhyuk competing on Dream Team

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